advent09 | burdens

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6.2

One day, late this past winter, I woke up overwhelmed with saddness. I'd been longing to go to Rwanda for what felt forever and most days I could handle that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. But this was not one of those days.

I hadn't interacted with my Rwandan friends for some time, but that day when I had wandered on Facebook to reply to a couple messages, there was my friend Emma, greeting me -- Amakuru Michelle! We had previously talked about the possibility of my visiting Rwanda that coming summer, so after we had chatted a bit, I felt it was only fair to be honest and tell him it wasn't going to happen.

His response surprised me. Rather than attempt to comfort me -- "Oh, God will make it work out in His time" -- as all previous conversations on the matter had ever gone, he voiced his own saddness. He didn't try to make me feel better...he just told me how badly he felt. Then he insisted that, even though it did not appear that I would be able to go to Rwanda that summer, he would ask God to change things so it would be possible for me to come.

Immediately I felt the burden of saddness lightened. It was as if he had pulled some saddness off my back and placed it on his own. That he had shared in my saddness and prayers made all the difference for me that day, and it was turned into a day of joy in fellowship and hope in what God will do. And of course, God did do and he did it more quickly than either of us had imagined He would.

That experience taught me part of what it is to carry one another's burdens. And it taught me that I don't carry other people's burdens as well as I should. Previously, I thought I was being nice and loving if I just permitted someone to cry/whine/vent in my presence. And that I would get extra gold stars for saying "Aww...", making a sad face, and referring to a vague prayer effort. But listening and making sad faces doesn't always entail carrying and carrying is what we are told to do.

Isaiah 53 tells us about the Suffering Servant, who we know to be Jesus: "Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows..." Jesus carries our burdens, our sorrows, so doing the same for others is necessary for anyone who wants to love like Jesus loves.

Carrying anothers' burdens requires more than convenience. 2 Corinthians 8.9 describes it almost as a market transaction: "You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich."

It's like a trade: I have, you don't have, so I'll give you what I have and I will take your "don't-have-ness" for myself. That kind of love is sometimes extolled in our culture, but not usually. Typically people who bear others' burdens are called codependant or enablers or they have boundary issues. (A statement which should NOT be reversed to imply that the average person who is thusly labeled is in healthy situation that they should continue in.) It's just that Isaiah 53 portrays someone that people mock and pity, not someone who is invited to appear on Oprah.

If it all ends there, showing love by bearing each others' burdens sounds like a lot of work. I mean, it is exhausting enough to do as Emma did for me and genuinely take on anothers' saddness. But most of the time, bearing a burden takes time and energy and resources we really prefer to use in other ways.

There are a couple things I am burdened by this week, things I have chosen to help carry for others. There have been moments, many moments, when I have thought "What on earth was I thinking!? I can't do this." And suddenly I realized something.

Bearing anothers' burden doesn't end there. It comes full circle. It's like a proof from Geometry. Or philosophy. Or something. But it's been a while, so work with me here:

We have burdens.
Jesus loves us by bearing our burdens.
We are to love like Jesus.
We are to love others by bearing their burdens.
So then we have burdens.
Jesus loves us by bearing our burdens.

And He does. And it is simply amazing to be part of that kind of love.