the surprises of 2009

Ending a year is profound and poetic and also very ordinary. I mean, I've done it like 30 times now, which is about 28 times more than I've roasted a turkey.

I came to realize, in the last couple weeks, that the word that characterizes 2009 for me is "amazing surprises". Standing here at the end of 2009, I can't help but giggle to think of the me standing at the beginning of it -- even my wild imagination could not have even imagined the good things that God brought me this year. And then today I went back and looked at my "first day of the year post" and here's what I said:

This year, though [instead of setting goals/resolutions/new disciplines]...I'm so excited for the possibilities that are ahead of me, the surprises that God has planned. ...I am looking forward to the unknowns of 2009. Maybe it is believing that God's surprises and plans far exceed our own that has kept me from making too many lists this year.

Honestly, as I read that, I want to weep with gratitude. God told me at the beginning of the year that He had surprises, good surprises, ahead. I gotta say, He delievered. We have a good God. And I want to proclaim, in my loudest bloggitory voice, the good things He has done for me.

Surprise! Rwanda!

Obviously, this was my biggest surprise in the year. At the beginning of it, it wasn't going to happen, and by the middle, I was on a plane to this beautiful country. I'm still in awe of how God worked through that whole process. Of course, there were plenty of unexpectedly wonderful things that happened there, and unexpectedly wonderful that happened here as a results of going there, but we'll avoid specifics.

Surprise! Friends!

I made some surprising friends this year. I made some wonderful "imaginary ones" that I have only met in a virtual sense, like Mary and Diana. But just because I've not yet had the chance to look them in the eyes doesn't mean their hearts haven't touched mine. And I got some "old friends", old enough at least to be a parent of mine. Unfortunately, our culture doesn't allow for those types of relationships to be formed naturally. But fortunately, God allowed unnaturally good things to happen to allow for them. And then going to Rwanda brought friends -- new "old" friends from my church, new semi-long distance friends like Traci and Rachel, and then a couple very long-distance friends like Sanyu and Confidence. And the topic of new friends leads naturally to...

Surprise! MOSAIC!

I've never wanted to be part of women's ministry. I've never wanted to be part of a mom's group. So naturally, toward the end of 2008, I started a mom's group through the women's ministry at our church. I had no clue what I was doing and must admit was a little reluctant to even do it, given my aversion to the whole idea. We bumbled around for the first year, but when we got a couple group leaders together and got ourselves a real name, the whole thing has really clicked this fall. I still have no clue what I'm doing, but so far God's made arrangements around that. There's a lot of laughing and crying and good food and good advice...and did I mention, I just love the ladies who come? They are definitely some wonderful surprises that came into my life in 2009.

Suprise! You're a Mento!

My church is moving in a direction to place greater emphasis on discipling people who attend it. So in the middle of a sermon, God said something like "K. Want u 2 get prayer group going re discipleship by next Sun." Apparently He finds it appropriate to send messages in the middle of church. Which was interesting because I'm not really a pray-er. Sure, I'd like to be, but prayer is not a strength of mine. But the message was pretty clear and specific, so I made some phone calls and prayed about it and come the following Saturday morning I was pretty sure I had misheard. But then I got a phone call (a real one) and sure enough, that Sunday there was a small group of ladies gathered to pray before church. So getting involved in that area of ministry of the church was a big surprise, but that's not where the surprises end. I have really learned a lot by praying with this group of women. They're my mom's age (one of them is exactly my mom's age because she IS my mom) and my life has definitely been enriched by hanging out with these ladies. They don't know it, but I consider them mentors. Which makes me a mento.

Surprise! You like being a mom!

Not that I didn't before, but this year, thanks to factors external and internal, I'm experiencing considerably more rest in that role. Both literal -- having one kid in school all day five days a week and another three hours, three days a week has a lot to do with that -- and soul-wise. I just feel less uptight -- more comfortable and at peace -- about this season of life. And I'm enjoying it more than ever before. I kind of expected the literal rest, but not necessarily the soul rest. I'm grateful for the later more so than the former.

So those are the big surprises that I have been thinking about, the ones I sure didn't see coming, the ones I'm most grateful for in 2009.

God sure is good.

snow. garden.

Perhaps last night's fresh snow has inspired it, but now that Christmas has passed, I've allowed myself to sit and browse the seed catalogues. Truth is, it began before then, but it was more stolen glances than luxurious lustful lounging.

But it's not the juicy tomatoes and sweet melons that have captured my passions, it's flowers. I don't know what happened, but I can't wait for cactus-style zinnias and unusual amaranths and candy lily and butterfly weed.

Fell in love w/ Candy Lily in Rwanda, but I didn't learn of its identity until I got home...

It's orange. And native. What's not to love about butterfly weed?

Ancient grain. Now often grown for floral form. The local native version is called Pig Weed and grows in freshly disturbed soil. But I hope to grow a more decorative...or perhaps historical...version of amaranth.

Maybe I'll grow a breadseed poppy to coax some utility out of the garden this year, but for the most part, I'm committed to play.

Which is not to say tomatoes can't be play. But I'm not sure 16 tomato plants can. Or 20 peppers. So we'll see come mid-late January what the order list looks like, but productivity is not the name of my game this year.

Maybe it's just the whiteness of outside that makes me long for color...

advent09 | having it out with Joy

I have to admit, Joy week and I have had a personal conflict of sorts and are struggling to piece our relationship back together.

It could be because school vacations -- in our house at least -- are more synonymous with "chaos" or "irritability" than "joy".

It could be because I was reminded this week that all is not right in the world, that there are messed up people who leave confusion and pain in their wake and that sad things happen to even the most wonderful of people.

It could be because I've been more tired than usual, I think from the faster pace of my previous couple weeks.

Either way, I was sitting there on Tuesday night, grumpy and depressed, thinking "Wow. I am just SO glad it's Joy week."

I don't really know how you apply joy in those situations. I felt like what I needed most was Love and a spirit of grace for my family. Or maybe Hope that this too would pass. In precisely 12 days when my kids would be back in school.

And I don't know what you do about others' sorrow. Because it certainly doesn't seem appropriate to find Joy there. I mean, I don't think God feels any joy about it. I can see finding Joy in your own sorrows, but how does the concept of Joy -- just Joy -- apply concerning others' sorrows? Does it?

So that was the little tussle I had with Joy. Feeling like it wasn't always applicable. Feeling like it is a response to an already existing truth, but a little weak on its own. Feeling like there's not much of a grandly complex theological concept behind it. That all may be true of Joy. But that doesn't mean we can't get along, that it has nothing to offer.

Joy doesn't initiate, it responds. It's not a cause, it's an effect. An effect of having and receiving. Joy comes from what we have -- tangible things bring a temporary variety and intangible things the everlasting sort. All season long I've had joy: how can you consider Hope and not experience joy? Or dwell on the peace we have with God and not want to dance? Or be in God's presence made possible by his gift of love and remain unmoved? Or engage in love with God's family and not be full and happy?

And those things cannot be taken (John 16.22). Saddness arises from loss. I might lose hope in a dream, that may bring saddness, but simply reflecting on Hope -- the Promise we've been given -- restores joy. Whatever losses we face, they are counteracted by the Gift of Jesus that was given 2000 years ago and cannot be taken from us.

So today, for now, I have joy in the Gift. The Gift that was given to me, the Gift that was given to the world.

advent09 | love addendum

More than anything this past week, God brought me the word "dwell", or living among, in relation to the concept of love.

I saw it in the way God loves me: God chose to show His love by being with us (Emmanuel/God With Us).

I saw it in the small miracles He brought me all week: the week was full and there were so many moving parts that all had to come together. And He was with me. A complication would arise. Immediate solutions did not come to mind. I ask for help. And not two minutes later, a perfect solution arrives. Over and over and over again. Seriously, more than I have ever experienced, God was present. He was sitting at the kitchen counter or in the seat next to me in the car talking to me and doing for me. His nearness, his dwelling with me by being present in the insignificant details of my life, was love.

I saw it in the saddness of Kristen leaving. That we got to dwell in the same town for these past years was a gift. There were good times and hard times and very ordinary mundane times. But family love -- the kind where you invest in each other and are committed to each other and get bored around each other and joke and irritate and help and are WITH each other -- there are rare and valuable riches found in that kind of love.

OK. Well, that's all I have. Just wanted to record it for posterity. And to remind myself to do a word study on "dwell"...

advent09 | joy

Find your joy, the ad promised. The word stood out, seeing as it is Joy week. But somehow "As Seen on TV" gifts from Walgreens did not really take my understanding of the word to a deeper level.

Perhaps this week will hold something a little more than than. Hopefully, anyway. Or I'm going to spend the week crying on the couch.

Here's our passages for this week:

Isaiah 35
Psalm 30
Philippians 1
John 16
Matthew 2

And the preschool definition of Joy? "Hooray! Jesus loves us!"

advent09 | cutting the cheese

Cutting the cheese will never be the same.

I realized this yesterday afternoon. My mom and sisters and I were at my parents' house getting ready to watch Julie & Julia together. We were waiting for my cousin Kristen to arrive; we couldn't very well start without her since she was the reason for this mid-afternoon movie-gathering. She is moving to Montana in two days.

The phone rang. I called out my prediction: "Kristen: I'm on my way." Kaylee answered the phone and started laughing, which meant I was right. Turns out it was mostly thanks to me she was late, however, we won't get into that here.

But back to the cheese.

Janae had pulled some out cheese to top the crackers and was getting ready to slice some. But then she glanced over her shoulder at me, "Or do you want to do it?" Which is when I realized that cutting the cheese will never be the same.

Kristen and her husband moved to Lewiston from the Portland area about seven years ago. Which means for the past seven years, all of us have gathered at my parents' house every (or almost every) Sunday after church for dinner. Things have changed a lot over that time; for one, it's gotten much louder, as five kids have taken turns joining the family. But so much has stayed the same.

My cutting the cheese, for instance. I don't know exactly how it all started, but it has a lot to do with the fact that Kristen is older than me. Which means she has the job of keeping me in line. Which means I have the job of getting out of it. Somehow being in her presence inspires me to all levels of impropriety; Jr. High boy humor jokes and self-centered theological claims are among the most common of offenses, but certainly my crimes have not ended there.

The thing is, I've never had an older sister, so I had a lot of pent-up pestering to do. Kristen was simply the perfect person to go to with those needs. She did already have a younger sister, but she's pretty nice, so really, I feel I contributed to her life experiences by being a younger sister that was annoying.

It was in the spirit of mild vulgarity and annoyance that this cheese thing began. In the little bit of assistance we offered my mom -- if it can even be called that -- I found myself one day slicing, or perhaps grating, some cheese. I called to Kristen: "Ask me what I'm doing!" "What are you doing, Michelle?" she replied sweetly. "I'M CUTTING THE CHEESE!" I hollered back, very unsweetly.

Thankfully, cheese is a regular part of our diet, so this routine played out -- in more or less the same way -- multiple times a month. My mom and sisters were in on it too, but it was Kristen's teasing look of disapproval that I was always after. (Of course, pretty quickly it was a tone of disapproval which came out as she complied with my request for her to ask what I was doing. It was as if she knew what was coming. Sigh.)

Which is why cutting the cheese won't be nearly as fun two days from now. Kristen and her husband (who, as a youth pastor, always supported my impropriety) and two beautiful girls are moving to the middle of nowhere, which is also known as central Montana. Where the towns don't have stoplights. Where it gets so cold that peeing outside in the winter becomes difficult. And where they won't be around to hear about it when I cut the cheese.

Usually all this talk about cutting the cheese would make me laugh. But it's not. Instead, I'm crying.

I'm really going to miss Kristen and her family. We've been through lots of tears together, lots of laughs. We've experienced significant life experiences together involving babies and jobs and death and the nearness of it.

I've learned so much from her; she is one of the most righteous people I know, forever desiring to be pure and in right relationship with God and others. In my prayers for her I sometimes find myself praying selfishly and I hear her kindly scolding me to instead ask God for His goodness in her life instead of what our human idea of goodness is. She is gracious, even when I have not been so to her. She is unendingly patient, which I can verify to because I have watched her wait for more things in life than anyone I've ever known. And she is right all the time, which I find a little annoying, but only because it typically means I'm wrong.

I will still slice and grate cheese after they move to Montana, and the jokes about it certainly won't end. They'll just be a little different for me because it will make me miss my dear cousin Kristen.

And of course, she will be so honored to know that I will think of her whenever I cut the cheese.

advent09 | burdens

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6.2

One day, late this past winter, I woke up overwhelmed with saddness. I'd been longing to go to Rwanda for what felt forever and most days I could handle that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. But this was not one of those days.

I hadn't interacted with my Rwandan friends for some time, but that day when I had wandered on Facebook to reply to a couple messages, there was my friend Emma, greeting me -- Amakuru Michelle! We had previously talked about the possibility of my visiting Rwanda that coming summer, so after we had chatted a bit, I felt it was only fair to be honest and tell him it wasn't going to happen.

His response surprised me. Rather than attempt to comfort me -- "Oh, God will make it work out in His time" -- as all previous conversations on the matter had ever gone, he voiced his own saddness. He didn't try to make me feel better...he just told me how badly he felt. Then he insisted that, even though it did not appear that I would be able to go to Rwanda that summer, he would ask God to change things so it would be possible for me to come.

Immediately I felt the burden of saddness lightened. It was as if he had pulled some saddness off my back and placed it on his own. That he had shared in my saddness and prayers made all the difference for me that day, and it was turned into a day of joy in fellowship and hope in what God will do. And of course, God did do and he did it more quickly than either of us had imagined He would.

That experience taught me part of what it is to carry one another's burdens. And it taught me that I don't carry other people's burdens as well as I should. Previously, I thought I was being nice and loving if I just permitted someone to cry/whine/vent in my presence. And that I would get extra gold stars for saying "Aww...", making a sad face, and referring to a vague prayer effort. But listening and making sad faces doesn't always entail carrying and carrying is what we are told to do.

Isaiah 53 tells us about the Suffering Servant, who we know to be Jesus: "Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows..." Jesus carries our burdens, our sorrows, so doing the same for others is necessary for anyone who wants to love like Jesus loves.

Carrying anothers' burdens requires more than convenience. 2 Corinthians 8.9 describes it almost as a market transaction: "You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich."

It's like a trade: I have, you don't have, so I'll give you what I have and I will take your "don't-have-ness" for myself. That kind of love is sometimes extolled in our culture, but not usually. Typically people who bear others' burdens are called codependant or enablers or they have boundary issues. (A statement which should NOT be reversed to imply that the average person who is thusly labeled is in healthy situation that they should continue in.) It's just that Isaiah 53 portrays someone that people mock and pity, not someone who is invited to appear on Oprah.

If it all ends there, showing love by bearing each others' burdens sounds like a lot of work. I mean, it is exhausting enough to do as Emma did for me and genuinely take on anothers' saddness. But most of the time, bearing a burden takes time and energy and resources we really prefer to use in other ways.

There are a couple things I am burdened by this week, things I have chosen to help carry for others. There have been moments, many moments, when I have thought "What on earth was I thinking!? I can't do this." And suddenly I realized something.

Bearing anothers' burden doesn't end there. It comes full circle. It's like a proof from Geometry. Or philosophy. Or something. But it's been a while, so work with me here:

We have burdens.
Jesus loves us by bearing our burdens.
We are to love like Jesus.
We are to love others by bearing their burdens.
So then we have burdens.
Jesus loves us by bearing our burdens.

And He does. And it is simply amazing to be part of that kind of love.

advent09 | juxapose a poem and prose

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.

Í say móre: the just man justices;
Kéeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Chríst—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.
-- Gerard Manley Hopkins, 1918

"No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us." -- 1 John 4.12

advent09 | the magic wand

A couple weeks ago, we were driving around in the car and I asked Jams a question: if you could only get one present for Christmas, but you could have anything you asked for, what would you want?

It was very quiet in the back of the car for a very long time. She was taking the question quite seriously. Then suddenly she burst out, "A magic wand! Then I could get anything I wanted!"

I laughed, thrilled at how smart she is. I was finishing up the giggles when I heard: "But I know they don't sell those in the store, so..."

Well, tonight she found out they actually DO...

But unforunately, at this point, it's power appears to be limited...

advent09 | be present

I have to admit, I have not been looking forward to Love Week. Hope is lovely. Peace is lovely. Joy is lovely. Love, however, is not lovely. It's stinky and sweaty and puts you in a position where you have to decide between taking a shower or a nap.

I couldn't help but enter this week with a bit of cringe, as I acknowledged that this one was going to hurt. Loving is NOT my forte -- moments of serenity and ignoring reality for the sake of something better I can DO, but this loving thing is really hard.

But here we are. It's Love week and there's no going back.

This morning I was reading in Matthew 1, the words from Isaiah: " '...they shall call his name Emmanuel' (which means, God with us)."

God with us. The truth is, to love is to be with. To be present to. Of course, it isn't limited by physical "withness"...we all have friends at all kinds of distances that we are "with" to varying degrees. But when we love, we make someone else's world our world. Just like God did with us. We are present to their joys, their concerns, we understand -- or seek to understand -- what their world is like.

That hits me most in regards to my kids. It's so easy to not be "with" them. To be focused on my world instead of theirs, to see things from my perspective instead seeking to see things how they do. It's a lot of "do this" and "don't do this", rather than being with -- walking and guiding and listening.

But really loving others first requires that we enter their world, that we stop worrying about our world for a moment. We've all know what it's like when someone loves without first entering another person's world. That's where fruitcake came from. Somebody's world had a little too much flour, sugar and funky fruit and imposed it on another world, a world that had to thinly reply, "gosh, how thoughtful".

Entering another's world is awkward and time consuming and humbling. Which is why more of us don't make hobbies of it. But if we want to love like Jesus loved -- and if we want to more fully appreciate the sacrifice He made in coming to be "God with us" -- we have to be with; be present.

advent09 | but wait, there's more!

I got all my peace lernin' done early in the week because we had an adventure scheduled for the later part: our present for peace week was a family trip to Portland! Brian had a CPA class to go to, so we figured we'd make a family mini-vacation out of it.

But, funnily enough, Peace followed me to Portland! Hooray! It's transportable!

For one, I was very happy with how all the weekend's plans came together. Came together in spite of the repeated threats of freezing rain and winter storms...in spite of my miscommunication skillz, which gave some unexpected change of weekend plans to two of my friends...in spite of my lack of an inclination to make any definite plans until shortly before doing anything. So perhaps the rest of the world (and my friends w/ it) are still reeling from the implosion that was our visit, but we? We had the most splendid weekend imaginable.

And then! We ended up at a church service on Saturday night. I just really had not wanted to miss church that weekend -- Advent somehow heightens the sense that God has something for me there -- and we had to leave early Sunday morning to be back home in time. But one of my friend's church had that evening service, so there we were.

The opening sermon slide was a disappointment. Maybe God didn't have anything anyhow. It said "Doxa." Who even knows what that means, anyhow. But then the pastor told us: it means "glory." Which is one of my secret Advent words this year.

(I have to confess, I have my official words: hope, peace, love, joy...and then my secret words, my "this year words", which are: generous, grace, and glory -- which I was hoping would magically appear in Advent, even though I'm not officially acknowledging them.)

So God was like, "Surprise!" and I had this gift of sermon about glory! The first part of the sermon was a challenge: We are made to glorify God. The rocks and stones and stars cry out the glory of God...and we, our lives, are to cry out the glory of God even more so. Our desire for happiness collides with the glory of God. God wants holy people, not happy people; holy people reflect God and His glory.

But then, the pastor shifted to Isaiah 40, which speaks of the glory of God. And he said, are you burdened with something? Go look at the stars. Not one is missing, ie, He is aware and present to the cataclysmic events in space. And none of us are missing, ie, God is aware and present to the "cataclysmic" events in our life. Looking at God's glory -- his hugeness and perfection and magnificence -- brings us peace.

Still chewing on some of those things, but it was fun to have a one last peace lesson during peace week that incorporated the idea of glory...especially since we'd already made the grace tie-in earlier this week...

what I want for Christmas: hope

Awhile ago, I was thinking about what I wanted for Christmas. I closed my eyes to think, and this is all I saw:

What I wanted for Christmas was to be with these kids, give them love for just one day, show them they are valuable and loved by God -- and maybe upgrade their ugali and beans and rice meal with something sweet or maybe even that rare luxury, meat.

Looks like I might get what I want for Christmas. Kind of, anyway.

That's because the body of Christ has arms and faces and hearts all around the world; an embrace that we give here can be felt tangibly in Rwanda.

Just as I was praying about how I wanted to give love and food to these street kids in Rwanda, but lacked the arms and feet to do so, members of Hindurwa were wanting to do the same: they had the arms and feet, they just lacked the resources. And after many conversations and a lot of work on the part of my friend Brian in Rwanda and my friend Traci in Portland, we're going to be one huge body that spans the oceans.

Hindurwa is organizing a day of hope for these street kids in Kigali, a celebration filled with tasty food, good music by Hindurwa and a couple other bands and a new t-shirt to replace the rags that now hang from their backs. It's true, one day like this won't change the circumstances of these kids -- they will return to the street. But we want them to make that return with more than a full belly and new wardrobe. We want them to return with hope, to know that they are loved by God and loved by others.

And you can get in on this big hug. Just $10 will make it possible for one child to have a meal and shirt (cost of living is similar to the US), and over 500 kids are expected to attend. Funds have begun to be raised, but much more is still needed so that each kid who attends will leave full and clothed.

Please consider going to ANLM's website and making a donation for this event -- you can quickly make a difference for one of these kids, or maybe more. And if you're not able to give, please remember these kids in prayer -- it is only by the work of God's Spirit that these children will have a hope and a future.

Donate to Hope Starts With Love Here

advent09 | give peace, give grace

Reading Romans 5-8 today. (Can I just say this? Selecting chapter-long passages about peace in the Bible was not an easy task. Honestly, if you have any suggestions...)

Anyway, the idea of peace in those chapters is that Jesus covers us with His righteousness so we can stand before God as complete, or perfect, which is what the Hebrew concept of peace encompasses. There's a word that comes along peace in all of this: grace. Grace is the train that Peace rides in on. Our righteousness (wholeness/perfection/peace) is only attainable by grace.

So of ourselves, peace says: On my own, I am not capable of doing everything right; I need grace; Jesus gives it to me.

And of others, peace says: On your own, you are not capable of doing everything right; you need grace; I will give it to you.

But think how peaceful things would be if we did that! How many of our fears and insecurities are founded on a sense of inadequacy? How much stress do we experience because we're trying to be perfect? How much of our conflict with others comes from a lack of grace, an inability to accept and forgive another person's error?

Want peace? Accept and give grace!

advent09 | peace adventures

Part way through my morning, I made an observation: I was busy. I had a million things to do, most of which involved decisions and so that added an extra layer of unrest to it all. Then I remembered my Peace week a couple years ago and how similarly crazy and unrestful it had been.

I pointed the pattern out to God.

He replied, You the one who said you wanted to learn about peace. :) (It included the little smiley face, so obviously it was a text He had sent.)

U R Funny. Not LOLing.

How R U supposed 2 learn about peace if U have a quiet, boring week?

Good point. Not much new territory to cover there.

OK, then. Let's do this week!

Bring it!

He did have a good point and the conversation brought me excitement over what's going to happen this week. He's laying the perfect scene for me to practice peace. Not just a chance to feel peace...but real, live, actual peace. Rather than take it as a joke -- which in some sense, it was and we had a good laugh over it -- I took it as an invitation into something a little more interesting, more challenging, with something better than "well-restedness" at the end of it.

So maybe we can call this the Great Peace Adventure Week. Since I think it will contain more action than I previously anticipated.

advent09 | peace

On to Peace! The definition according to preschool class? "Jesus makes everything all RIGHT!" -- our hearts are all messed up and we don't always do what we're supposed to, but Jesus makes our hearts all right with God. Understanding this is then followed by pushing and shoving and fighting in line. I tell you, the more I hang out with kids, the more they remind me of grown ups.

So the reading for this week:

Luke 2
Isaiah 32
Romans 5
John 14
Philippians 4

Optional: Romans 5-8

advent09 | wake up and run naked

I learned a lot about what Hope is. I marveled in this gift we have been given. Bu if I were to summarize the way I want to be different after this Hope week, what my practical purpose statement after examining the concept of Hope might be, here it is:

Wake up and run naked.

Yeah, this week has been life changing. Got that early morning brisk jog thing going on and...

Oh. Right. I was speaking in metaphoric terms.

So the first concept: wake up. All week long I keep running into the word "awake", or "wake up". The idea of hope involves waiting for a promise. And naturally, when you're waiting for something for a long time, it becomes natural to fall asleep...to lose focus, to believe there's something better to do with your time.

But that idea from Matthew 25 keeps returning to me: those who have hope work hard to stay awake, to be alert, to live expectantly.

And once we're awake, it's time to run. Run naked. According to Hebrews 12.1, anyway. It says this:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up (other translations say "the sin that clings so closely"). And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

The obvious image are the athletes of ancient Greece who didn't want a backback of snack bars and fitness water to weigh him down, or his loincloth coming undone and tripping him up. Yes. They ran naked.

And frankly, the thought of men running naked is not so pleasant. In fact, I feel similarly about that mental picture as I do of the one of men shaving their whole body and wearing Speedos. But then, these guys are competing. They're not trying to be cool, they're trying to win a race. And unless you're Michael Phelps, you're going to have a tough time doing both. They're focused and the smallest thing that might have the slightest chance of slowing them down has to be eliminated.

With sin, it's easy to see why that has to go: sin really does trip us up and keep us from doing all we could do. I was thinking of some recent conversations where I had made a statement that was met with a reply that was the equivalent of "you're an idiot". To which I wanted to say, "No, YOU'RE the idiot and here's WHY". I have to confess that sin got the best of me a couple of those times. But other times I just took it. And I have to say, the relationship I have with the person in those cases has changed for the better. I'm inclined to think my natural response would have hindered that. A small thing? Sure. But, this is a race and sometimes the little things make a difference.

The idea of "every weight that slows us down" is so much tougher to define. Sin is sin, but weights, encumbrances, differ from person to person. And what is not an encumbrance at one point in time, may be at another. But recent reading through the gospels, through the Corinthians, and especially in Hebrews 11 show that Christ-followers are called to travelling light.

Living simply, focused, is such a desire of mine. But I fail. I manage to spend a little less time on my appearance and then I go out buy more stuff. I think this one is a constant battle and perhaps part of the trick is not searching out these weights, but just to remove them as they appear. I don't know. I'm still working on this one. But I do know that, as the saints mentioned in Hebrews 11, I want to be one who is "seeking a homeland".

Part of what's hard about focused living is wondering how to balance. I'm all for running hard, but what about stopping to glory in the dirt at my feet or the bird song off to the left. I mean, gardening can take a bit of time for me, and it's kinda an outdoor church to me where I am taught and I worship (and it leads to community when harvest time comes!) -- but at what point can it become a weight that is making the race harder to run?

Maybe the answer, part of it any way, is in the word "endurance". Sprints are different than marathons (so I'm told, anyway) and if life were a sprint, maybe gardening would be a distraction, but as it is a marathon, gardening might be an important part of making it to the end. We can sprint in life for short periods, but people who make a lifestyle of it tend to crash.

I guess ultimately these are questions to bring to the Light. As are the specifics of staying awake and running without hindrance. Anyway, enough for now. Part of being able to be awake and run naked is to get enough sleep. Right?

advent09 | hope is...

Hope is...believing that something good is going to happen -- Luke 1

Hope is...a seed, something that is planted, for which we must await the promised result -- Isaiah 61

Hope is...knowing that this world is not all that there is -- Hebrews 10-12

Hope is...an invitation; it cries out "Come!" -- Revelations 22

Hope...leads to preparation -- Revelations 21.2, Luke 1.17

Hope...does not depend upon science or reason to be fulfilled -- Luke 1

Hope...waits together, sharing life with others who hope -- Luke 1.39-45, Hebrews 10.24-25

Hope is...active. It leads to love and goodness. It is strong -- Hebrews 11.24, 12.33-34

Hope is...confident that the best is yet to come -- Hebrews 10.35

Hope...endures. It waits through seemingly unchanging circumstances -- Hebrews 10.36

Hope is...believing that dreams become reality -- Hebrews 11.12

Hope is...confident in God's goodness. Even when His plan doesn't seem good -- Luke 1, Hebrews 11

Hope is...looking to what cannot be seen -- Hebrews 11.26

advent09 | longing fulfilled playlist

Ahhh. Christmas music. I'm dividing it up into two categories this year: Christmas fun and Christmas celebration/worship. There's more categories to be had, for sure, but we begin small.

Not so great at the music mixes, but here's what I came up with for this year's Christmas worship mix: longing fulfilled. As you may note, the themes of the songs move -- generally speaking -- from Hope to Peace to Love to Joy. Oooooo, clever! (You did think that, right? Please?) It's a little random in terms of, uh, music styles...frankly, I was disappointed to not find a gangsta version of some of these traditional songs (as per my father's UNsuggestion)...but...hey, at least I don't get paid to do this, right?

longing fulfilled: advent09

And On That Day - Phil Keaggy
O Come O Come Emmanuel - Sufjan Stevens
Song of Hope (Heaven Come Down) - Robbie Seay Band
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing - Sufjan Stevens
Silent Night - Lighthouse
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - Kutless
Hallelujah (Light Has Come) - BarlowGirl
The First Noel - Weezer
Light of the World - Matt Redman
Love Is Here - Tenth Avenue North
Joy to the World - Bebo Norman
Angels We Have Heard on High - SonicFlood
Glory In the Highest - Chris Tomlin
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Jewel
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings - Barenaked Ladies/Sarah McLachlen