was it life changing?

I don't like milk. And I really don't like whole milk. But then two weeks ago I was seated at an outdoor table in downtown Kigali, Rwanda and sipped my first African-style tea. Which led to my ordering it at every future opportunity.

Which led to me now sitting here, drinking a cup of hot milk infused with tea leaves and ginger, sweetened with a little sugar. I can't lie, this African-style tea is good...but it would be better with whole milk.

In a lot of ways, this story is a distillation of my experience with Rwanda. My tea-drinking preferences are among the more minor ways Rwanda and its people have impacted my life.

Now part of this, admittedly, is just the silly stuff you do when you love something. Kind of like how I once dated a guy that liked country music and so for those months of my life, I also liked country music. But that was worse, liking country music was a whole new level of ridiculousness. Whole milk is definitely not in that category. And of course, neither are any of the other little quirks I've acquired over my six-year relationship with Rwanda...the head nod, the headscarf I wear while working in the yard, the hand wave, the African-English grammatical constructions, and so on.

Rwanda has changed me in ways I didn't expect and has not changed me in ways I did expect. Which is pretty much true of the rest of life, right? Kids, school, marriage, career, ministry, they predictably take us to unpredictable places and those unpredictable places are where God meets us.

I thought Rwanda would give me a mission and clear purpose. I thought it would be a place where I would find something to really pour my life and energy into. I thought it would change my lifestyle -- beyond just the type of tea I drink. I thought it would lead to some radical, altruistic way of living. I thought it would be the means by which I would establish a unique identity for myself. I thought that it would be a place that I could accomplish something that I could be proud of, that would impress people. I thought it would break me in a way that others-centered living would just happen.

But it hasn't done any of these things, not yet anyway, and actually, I think that's a good thing. God is way more creative and way more authentic then pressing the Magical Rwanda Button to make me who He created me to be. In fact, to the contrary, He has painfully exposed many of these expectations for the prideful, self-centered idols that they are and has graciously not given me the second-best that life has to offer.

Rwanda has changed me where I least expected, where I least thought I wanted and needed change. I've tasted rich community and the amazing power and grace of the family of God. I've seen the ugliness of my flesh and the continual need I have of God's mercy. I've realized that poverty takes many forms and felt poverty of relationship. You can't see those things and remain unchanged.

But more than those things, God has used Rwanda to change my experience of Him. When I went to Rwanda two years ago, I went full of expectation that God had something great waiting for me there. And He did. It was Himself. I didn't expect that because I thought my relationship with Him was great. And it was, but there's always greater and so God used that time to draw me to Himself, to experience Him, in a deeper way. And that relationship touches every aspect of my life. In fact, within most of my current relationships and daily activities and ministry pursuits, I can find a thread of God via Rwanda.

So mostly Rwanda has been life changing because God is life changing. And that's a beautiful thing because God is as present here as He is there and none of us needs Rwanda or its equivalent to enter into God's presence and be changed. (And good thing too, because its a pretty expensive route to go.) Life is life changing. God has invited each of us into an adventure that will draw us to Himself and it is in that place, not sitting at a cafe in downtown Kigali, that truly changes us.